[caption id="attachment_644" align="alignleft" width="338" caption="Unobtainium Trombone"][/caption]  

Finally.

A Trombone powered by magic. I have been working with the technicians at Edwards UNDISCLOSED BRASS COMPANY HERE, and come up with a trombone that has surpassed all expectations.

It has a Thayer Valve, Carbon Fiber Slide, and a bell made out of solid Unobtainium.  The instrument has been coated in an acoustical enhancing and light dispersing polygraphite polymer that was first used on the stealth bomber, and now has been adapted for the SR-71 Blackbird Trombone by Mr. Enrich Klinglehoffer and his team of technicians.

It's as if the horn were powered by magic.  The acoustical enhancements are not trivial, as each overtone and vibration are focused and fired forward in a whirl-pool fashion into the venturi, then spun through the focal point of the instrument, eliminating nodal points and producing a forward resonance that can only be described as "3-D Audio".

Hats of to Mr. Klinglehoffer and his team of elves- this horn is a beast!